The worst part about growing up is having to act like you really know what you are doing. You have to pretend you have your shit together. Gone are the times when I hated afternoon naps. Now I crave for a decent eight hour sleep, and if I am lucky, an afternoon nap. Life used to be fun. Suddenly it becomes all about crisp collared shirts, legal battles and the numbers in your bank account. I don’t remember the last time I did something just for the fun of it.
Growing up I loved batman. It is only now I realize the importance of joker’s attitude. Why so serious? Has become my new favourite quote. It’s sad really if you have lost the innocence in you. I want to go back to colouring outside the lines, breaking the rules, and living without a care in the world. Those were the good times. Now I drag myself out of bed every morning and my head is just a muddle of things that need to be checked off the to do list.
It comes down to the race. Assignments, projects, internships, and the race to be the smartest person in the room. Even as a child I hated the things most girls love. I hated barbies, and pink, and long hair. I hated ice cream and wafers. Even today I am different. If I had a choice I would spend every day by the sea. I love the sea. It gives me the best feeling ever. But here I am. Stuck in the 40 degree heat of Ahmedabad, trying to keep from drowning in the sea of work.
It doesn’t matter what your age is. Maturity shows in what you decide to do with the time that you have. Decisions decisions. What shall it be? To me it isn’t worth it unless that is what you always wanted. I guess I just want peace. It is worth more than love and money. What good is a man in pain even if he has everything else? I know I will find it one day, just when I am least expecting it.
Everyone has a story. Mine is about being reborn after being destroyed inside out. Your story is important. It is what defines your thinking and morals and the kind of person you become. So think over it. Who do you want to be? I choose not to grow up. I choose to smile, to love and laugh and to teach others to do the same with me. Hold on to your story. It will take you where you should be. The rest will look after itself, you just have to follow the path that life chose for you, and it will all fall into place…