What Causes A Rape Survivor To Hide

What causes a rape survivor to hide? What causes men to rape in the first place? Why a girl who is raped is considered an outcaste in society? These questions trouble me. To answer the first question, it is you, you and you. All of you. You make it seem like it was my fault. You tell me my pictures are too promiscuous, you tell me my clothes are too short and my makeup is too loud. The police say she didn’t protest well enough. You tell me that it was me. I attracted the wrong kind of attention! Really? What happened to mothers teaching their sons to behave? What happened to respecting girls not just for their gender but also because they are human beings? What happened to our sense of ethics and self respect? It is us. The society. We are responsible for hostile witnesses, reversal of admissions in court and criminals going scot free.

They can take any defence they like. Maybe they come from broken homes or abusive childhoods. Maybe they had raging hormones. Maybe they did not believe it was wrong. No rapist was born a rapist. We created them. The way stalking is shown in the movies. Makes it seem cool. People get inspired and think it is okay. Our views towards sex education need to change. Yes, the Health minister once upon a time actually said sex education will increase rapes! To what man of common sense does this even make any sense? They want to ban Sunny Leone for promoting condoms. They want to ban porn websites without giving a care about people’s right to privacy. They want to ban dance bars and leave the poor girls no choice but prostitution. These very reasons create a rapist.

You do not have to make it difficult for her. The nightmares and post traumatic stress is more than enough. Don’t stare at her like she is dirty. Don’t make her feel like a victim. They deserve our support. Only then can she become strong again.

To the rapists I have just one thing to say. Forcing a girl into intercourse does not make you more of a man. It is definitely the cruelest, most inhumane thing you can do. You should be ashamed yourself. Such men should be raped back. They should be made to feel what I felt. More than being angry,  I am saddened by the state of affairs in India. Only 2 percent accused get convicted. Only 18 percent cases are reported.  In 98 percent cases the girl knew her attacker. In 100 percent cases, crime won and humanity lost…


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