The Struggle Is Real

Just like every other person I know I resolved to hit the gym and lose weight in 2018. It has been two weeks and I have kept up so far, but the numbers on the scale are going up instead of coming down! My nerves are screaming in pain literally, both from the harsh workouts and the reasons I know I am not losing weight. Its the medication you’re on! The mood stabilizer called depakote. That devil made me gain 11 kgs in the last one and a half years. That devil also caused polycystic ovaries which further made me gain weight.

I crave chocolate a lot but I extend my hand towards it, I run my eyes on it, and then I go back in my head and say no, just stop, you’re already fat. I beat myself up. Then I turn my back and go the other way, as if to push away someone who I want nothing to do with.

There are times I sit and crib and there are times I sit and cry over this problem that has no solution. Even ninety minutes of intense workout a day is not enough to make these numbers go down. All my friends suggest different things, some say  run, some say do burpees. Some say lift. I have tried everything. At last I get frustrated and then I eat whatever I get my hands on.

All of us struggle with weight issues but some of us just have abnormal metabolisms. All I can do is remain fit and work on my stamina. I will never stop doing that. So, all those calling me out for my big belly, here it is. Don’t judge someone for being fat foryou never know their story. When someone tells me I am fat I do feel bad. I know I shouldn’t. But I do. Because I am not lazy fat. But you know that it is probably them who has low self esteem and they need to up it by pointing out how they are better than someone else. I slay and I will continue to slay. No one’s opinion should matter as long as you know the truth in your heart. Try. Just keep trying. And to all those who point out I’ve gained weight I say, hey you wanna compete on a 5km run? Or perform 108 surya namaskars with me? I don’t know about you but that’s my daily thing!

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